Reject the Rejection Letter

Shelly Humbach • April 8, 2019

Getting a rejection letter from a college can be a difficult blow. Especially this year with a college admissions scandal in every major newspaper, it may seem that the process is rigged or unfair to the core. You may wonder, “Why was I not accepted? What else could I have done?”

The answer - nothing. College admission is competitive and some rejections are part of the process. Although the recent exposure of an admissions scandal has shocked the country, at its heart the college admissions process is made up of individuals who care deeply about students and the universities they represent. You put your best foot forward with your application, and admission officers have done their best job to choose a class that fills the needs of the college. Unfortunately, not everyone who applies will be accepted but that doesn’t mean that your application wasn’t given a thorough review.

You can call the college to ask for more information. They may be able to shed some light on your decision – how many applications did they receive, how many were accepted, what was the profile of the students who were admitted, etc. Although it’s not likely to change your decision, sometimes understanding the facts can help soften the blow.

Additionally, writing a “Reject the Rejection” note for yourself can be a good way to tame your inner thoughts. This is for your eyes only - do not send this letter anywhere. Refer back to it as needed for your own self esteem boost. Here’s a sample to get you started:

I was shocked when I received the rejection letter from [xxxx college]. Then I realized I’ll be happier attending [yyyy - college you plan to attend].

I know [xxxx college] receives more applications from qualified students than they can admit. Unfortunately for you, you did not recognize the reasons I will be successful freshman like...

1.

2.

3.

It’s too bad for [xxxx colllege] that you won’t have me as a student. But I’m happy I’ve been admitted to [yyyy] because…

1.

2.

3.

I can’t wait to get started there.

By Shelly Humbach September 11, 2025
In June, I hosted my annual Senior Essay Writing Workshop. This was the first in-person workshop since 2019. I bet you can guess why. I was elated to meet my students face-to-face after months, even years, of connecting through the screen. Imagine my surprise at their height, super-smiles, and warm laughter. Dang, it was wonderful. So, essentially, all my in-state seniors gather at my house for a three-hour intensive workshop on crafting a killer college essay. As I was preparing for the event, it occurred to me that I might be in competition with their PHONE. Classic directness (this is probably a character flaw) led me to inform my students and their parents, in advance, that this would be a no-phone gathering. My messaging went something like this, Important: Phones are placed in a basket at the door and retrieved at noon. No exceptions. Parents: If you need to reach your student during the workshop, text me directly at **********. Now, I am fully on board with the phone-free movement. I support it, advocate for it, and live it (I brilliantly quit all personal media last November). And I thought: my event, my rules. I was a little concerned about how this announcement would land. Turns out my concern was mainly about the parents. The kids? Not so much. In fact, research indicates that students crave phone-free learning environments. Suffice to say, the workshop was a smashing success. Not a single student pushed back against the policy. One poor soul forgot to retrieve her phone and left it sitting all alone in the basket. Not to worry, though. She didn’t get far before turning back to grab it. Here’s the truth: We don’t have to bow down to every technological whim or societal pressure. As adults, we know the phone is a problem, and it’s our job to foster healthy, happy individuals. So let's keep this momentum going. As Maya Angelou wisely said, “When you know better, do better.”
By Shelly Humbach August 11, 2025
I work with incredible colleagues; collaborative, smart and supportive. They make me better and I am deeply grateful. Every year, Jennie Kent and Jeff Levy of Big J Educational Consulting share invaluable information regarding college admissions. Their research is impeccable and accurate and provides crucial data to help students and families make informed college decisions. Read on, share broadly and give a shout out to these generous professionals! Early Decision and Regular Decision Acceptance Rates Class of 2028 Domestic Undergraduate Need-Based and Merit Aid Class of 2028 In-State and Out-of-State Acceptance Rates Class of 2028 Financial Aid for International Noncitizens Class of 2028 International Noncitizens Acceptance Rate and Yield Class of 2028 Percentage of Students Submitting SAT and ACT Scores Class of 2028 Athletic Divisions and Conferences (partial list) Class of 2028 - NEW! These charts are visual, interactive, and easy to use. They make it possible to instantly sort using any column's metrics and to easily compare subsets of colleges. They are free and can be accessed at www.bigjeducationalconsulting.com/resources . From Jennie and Jeff: We hope you find these resources helpful in your work guiding students. Please feel free to share them broadly as long as they remain in their original unedited form. Permission is not granted to those charging a fee for their distribution. If you find an error after cross-referencing with an institution's Common Data Set, please contact us at info@bigjconsult.com . Thank you!
By Shelly Humbach July 17, 2025
The Power of Paying Attention
By Shelly Humbach June 11, 2025
Parents: Before Your Student Launches,  Get These Legal Docs in Place
By Shelly Humbach May 14, 2025
Is Your Student Ready For College?
By Shelly Humbach April 16, 2025
Wait for it……they should be having fun.
By Shelly Humbach October 23, 2023
"The Common Application, often referred to as The Common App is an online platform that facilitates the college application process for students."
By Shelly Humbach October 23, 2023
"The AXS Companion provides step-by-step guidance, tips, and expert advice to help you tackle every section of the Common App with confidence."
understanding financial aid: everything you need to know
By Shelly Humbach April 27, 2023
Navigating Financial Aid can be a confusing process. Make sure you understand the financial terminology before entering the lengthy process of applying for scholarships and financial aid. Learn more in this comprehensive guide.
By Shelly Humbach February 24, 2023
In the Spirit of - More College Admissions Fun - Let’s talk about Deferrals
More Posts