Old friends and new friends
Shelly Humbach • May 31, 2020
One of the biggest changes for freshman year is a new peer group. You may have friends that you’ve been with since the beginning of high school or even longer. Starting college should be exciting but it can also be anxiety filled as you think about moving on without your same friends to support you.
As you and your friends head off in different directions, think about ways to stay connected:
1. Celebrate your accomplishments!
Graduation is a time to celebrate! Congratulate your friends, maybe exchange gifts, and celebrate each other. It feels good to have accomplished this goal together. Honor your friends and tell them how much they’ve helped you become the person you are today.
2. Spend your summer together with meaningful experiences.
Create opportunities to make memories with your friends this summer. As states start to reopen, spending time with friends you haven’t seen in months may take on new significance. Plan some shared time – maybe a trip together, or a regularly scheduled meet up, or try something new. Summer will fly by with work, vacation, internships, or other activities. Prioritize time with your friends.
3. Reflect on what you love about your friends and think about new relationships.
There will be many opportunities for you to make new friends in freshman year – from freshman orientation on, opportunities for meeting new people abound. This might be thrilling or terrifying depending on whether you consider yourself an extrovert or an introvert. Stay true to yourself. Think about the qualities you love and admire in your high school friends and consider ways to find people with similar qualities. Shared interests (clubs, sports, activities) or common experiences (classes, dorms, pre-college orientations) are great opportunities to bond with new friends.
4. Plan a visit.
No doubt, you will enjoy meeting new people freshman year. It can also be fun to share your new place with your old friends. If your high school friends are attending colleges nearby, make plans to visit each other. Depending on what colleges allow for the fall, plan to spend the night together in the dorms, or spend a day together on campus. It can be comforting to see old friends during your freshman year.
Take Action
Whether you are heading off to college near or far, with lots of old friends from high school or on your own, plan keep in touch with your high school friends. You’ll likely have a chance to get together during college breaks. Make an effort to maintain your friendships from home as you get to know a new group of peers.
In June, I hosted my annual Senior Essay Writing Workshop. This was the first in-person workshop since 2019. I bet you can guess why. I was elated to meet my students face-to-face after months, even years, of connecting through the screen. Imagine my surprise at their height, super-smiles, and warm laughter. Dang, it was wonderful. So, essentially, all my in-state seniors gather at my house for a three-hour intensive workshop on crafting a killer college essay. As I was preparing for the event, it occurred to me that I might be in competition with their PHONE. Classic directness (this is probably a character flaw) led me to inform my students and their parents, in advance, that this would be a no-phone gathering. My messaging went something like this, Important: Phones are placed in a basket at the door and retrieved at noon. No exceptions. Parents: If you need to reach your student during the workshop, text me directly at **********. Now, I am fully on board with the phone-free movement. I support it, advocate for it, and live it (I brilliantly quit all personal media last November). And I thought: my event, my rules. I was a little concerned about how this announcement would land. Turns out my concern was mainly about the parents. The kids? Not so much. In fact, research indicates that students crave phone-free learning environments. Suffice to say, the workshop was a smashing success. Not a single student pushed back against the policy. One poor soul forgot to retrieve her phone and left it sitting all alone in the basket. Not to worry, though. She didn’t get far before turning back to grab it. Here’s the truth: We don’t have to bow down to every technological whim or societal pressure. As adults, we know the phone is a problem, and it’s our job to foster healthy, happy individuals. So let's keep this momentum going. As Maya Angelou wisely said, “When you know better, do better.”
I work with incredible colleagues; collaborative, smart and supportive. They make me better and I am deeply grateful. Every year, Jennie Kent and Jeff Levy of Big J Educational Consulting share invaluable information regarding college admissions. Their research is impeccable and accurate and provides crucial data to help students and families make informed college decisions. Read on, share broadly and give a shout out to these generous professionals! Early Decision and Regular Decision Acceptance Rates Class of 2028 Domestic Undergraduate Need-Based and Merit Aid Class of 2028 In-State and Out-of-State Acceptance Rates Class of 2028 Financial Aid for International Noncitizens Class of 2028 International Noncitizens Acceptance Rate and Yield Class of 2028 Percentage of Students Submitting SAT and ACT Scores Class of 2028 Athletic Divisions and Conferences (partial list) Class of 2028 - NEW! These charts are visual, interactive, and easy to use. They make it possible to instantly sort using any column's metrics and to easily compare subsets of colleges. They are free and can be accessed at www.bigjeducationalconsulting.com/resources . From Jennie and Jeff: We hope you find these resources helpful in your work guiding students. Please feel free to share them broadly as long as they remain in their original unedited form. Permission is not granted to those charging a fee for their distribution. If you find an error after cross-referencing with an institution's Common Data Set, please contact us at info@bigjconsult.com . Thank you!
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